An Innocent Man
by DaisyDaze111
Summary: Sirius' perspective on the day that landed him in Azkaban. I do not own any of the characters or settings, all of which come from the Harry Potter series written by J.K. Rowling.


It was quiet. The kind of quiet that made you feel terrible things were waiting in the dark shadows. Sirius Black had just forced his way into his friend's house, not having heard any answers to his knocks.

"Peter?" Sirius called out. No reply. Feeling uneasy, he rushed up the stairs, and magically bust every door open as he frantically searched the house. No sign of anyone.

Peter should have been there. He was supposed to be lying low for awhile until they figured out who to trust. Had he gone out? Or had someone come for him? There was no sign of a struggle, no dreaded mark in the sky, and the protective enchantments he had placed over Peter's home were still intact. So where was he?

 _He should be here where he's safe,_ Sirius thought desperately. And then his thoughts turned to James and Lily. If Peter _had_ been captured that meant they were in danger too. Trying to remain calm, Sirius ran down the stairs, jumping the last five. With his wand clutched in his trembling fist, he made his way to the front yard, and as soon as he reached the spot outside of the protective enchantments, he Disapparated. His breath felt lodged in his throat as the world constricted around him, and his heart pounded painfully in his chest. He thought of nothing but getting to James and Lily's. He had to be sure they were safe.

Sirius materialized in Godric's Hollow. The street was dark with a few lamp posts giving off an eerie light and leaves covered the ground around him. There wasn't a soul in sight. Hurriedly, Sirius ran forward to where James and Lily's house would appear once he got past the enchantments, but as he neared their place he realized he could see it already, and panic flooded through him as he noticed the whole blasted through the top floor where he knew Harry's room to be.

"No," Sirius gasped. He ran harder still as if getting there quicker would make everything alright, and as he reached the front door, which had been blasted off its hinges, a panicked sob escaped him.

"James!" He called out, pleading in his voice, as he prayed for his friend to answer. "James!"

There was no reply, and fear tore at his insides, but as he made to call out again he heard someone moving around in the living room. Relief flooded through him and he sprinted down the hall.. The house was littered with broken glass and stuffing from the sofa, but this was not what Sirius noticed first, as it was impossible to miss the giant of a man standing before him wearing a large moleskin coat, a thick beard, and black beetle eyes. In his arms he held a bundle of blankets that fussed and shifted, and Harry's tiny arm waved in his fury, and he wailed at the top of his lungs.

"Hagrid? What are you doing here?" And before Hagrid could answer Sirius asked, "Where's James? Where's Lily?"

Hagrid gazed out at him through a haze of tears, and cold horror seized Sirius.

"Where are they?!" Sirius bellowed, and another sob escaped him. Hagrid, shoulders shaking with his cries, bowed his great shaggy head and stepped aside. Two people lay side-by-side on the floor. Their eyes closed, hands folded over their middle. The dark reality of two of his best friends lying dead on the floor dropped into Sirius' heart like a ton of bricks. Hard and unforgiving.

"NO! NO! NOOOO!" Sirius flung himself onto the floor beside them, dropping his wand, and seized James' arm shaking it as he begged his best friend to open his eyes. "James! Please! PLEASE!" But he lay there unmoving, lifeless, and Sirius knew James' eyes would never open again. He'd never smile again. Never crack a joke or play Quidditch. He was gone. Dead. Coldness already seeping through the body of the man who had been his closest friend, his brother for half of Sirius' life.

Tears cascaded down Sirius' face as a flood of grief such that he had never known broke from him in anguished sobs. His body shook with the pain of his loss, and it seemed to go on for hours, weeks, years. Hagrid tried to console him from behind.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry. So sorry. I got here as fas' as I could when Dumbledore told me to go an' ge' Harry. I though' maybe I migh' be able to help but by time I go' here they were already gone," Hagrid explained through his tears. "All I could do was get' little Harry here, and I brough' James and Lily out here, 'cause I couldn't leave 'em laying in different rooms an' all. They would've wanted to be near each other.

"Don't understan' how Harry survived. Dumbledore said You-know-who was gone, but Harry was alive. Don't understand. Poor thing with a slash on his forehead. Maybe Dumbledore can heal it…"

Hagrid couldn't seem to go on, and Sirius continued to weep for the friends he had lost. His family. After what seemed like ages, Sirius quieted down, and he became aware that Harry was still crying in Hagrid's arms. With shuddering breaths, Sirius tried to pull himself together, but as he looked over at Lily fresh tears poured down his face.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Reaching over he gently stroked her face, still beautiful in death. Just as James had been like a brother to him, Lily had been like the sister he'd always wanted. It took all the strength and will left his body for Sirius to lift himself off the floor. Harry's cries were like the edge of a cliff to which he clung, and he pulled himself up to reach him. Facing Hagrid, he reached out his trembling hands to take Harry.

"Give him here Hagrid," he said in a croaky voice. "Give him here, I'm his godfather."

But rather than handing Harry over, Hagrid shook his massive head and said, "No. I'm sorry Sirius, but I'm here on Dumbledore's orders. He asked me to come an' get Harry, an' take him to his aunt and uncle's, and that's what I'm goin' to do."

"What do you mean he's supposed to go to aunt and uncle? I'm his godfather."

"Dumbledore's orders Sirius," Hagrid insisted.

"But I'm supposed to care for him now. James - ," a sob escaped him as he said the name. "James and Lily wanted me to keep him safe, give him here."

"Sorry Sirius, but I can't do that. I've gotta ge' Harry to Dumbledore, but it's alright, you can trust me. I'll take good care of him.

Sirius made to argue again but something of which Hagrid had said echoed in his mind.

 _You can trust me._

Except he heard the words, not in Hagrid's deep voice, but in a much higher one. Peter's voice. Peter Pettigrew.

Peter telling James and Lily he was proud to be their Secret Keeper. Peter saying he was delighted to do more for them. Peter saying how he would never tell anyone where they lived.

"You can trust me," he'd said.

" _Peter,_ " Sirius whispered. It had to have been Peter who told Voldemort where to find the Potters. So had he been captured? Forced to spill the secrets entrusted to him? Did they use Veritaserum? The Imperius Curse? Sirius thought back to Peter's house and the lack of a struggle or any sign that Peter had been dragged off or overcome. There was no one who even knew Peter had been the Secret Keeper. How could they? He specifically chose Peter because he was low profile, and they told no one their plan to switch the Secret Keeper from himself. . Not even Remus, who Sirius had held a growing mistrust for, despite James' adamant claims that Remus could not be the spy. Only he, Peter, James, and Lily had known the truth

The spy. Someone spilling secrets. Someone who knew the Potters. Someone close to them. A spy.

And Peter, missing, but no struggle. James and Lily lying dead on the floor.

The spy.

Peter...it was Peter.

As the shocking realization of Peter's betrayal, and what he, Sirius, had done by trusting him sank into his mind, a hot, red blaze of fury filled him, making his blood boil and heat rise in his chest. Peter had betrayed James and Lily and now they were dead on the floor. Peter had killed them. And so had Sirius. By trusting the very person who had been against them all along, Sirius had sealed his best friends' fate.

Standing in the Potter's destroyed home, Sirius struggled to gain some sort of control as grief and hatred tore at him, threatening to sweep him away forever. But he could not stand there for long. Needing to do something, needing to act, Sirius swooped down and seized his wand. He glanced for a long moment at James and Lily, then he rose and turned to Hagrid.

"Alright Hagrid, have it your way, but take my motorbike. It flies, and it'll be faster. I'll enlarge it for you so that it holds your weight."

Sirius ran out to the yard and unlocked the shed where James had let him store his motorbike. Casting an Enlargement spell Sirius waited impatiently has his favorite possession grew to a size big enough for Hagrid. Then, Sirius magicked a side-car to the bike, something he had already been planning to do ever since he found out he was going to be Harry's godfather.

Trying to gain control of the storm of confusion gong on inside him, Sirius turned as Hagrid joined him from inside the house.

"Take Harry," he said. "Take him straight to Dumbledore, don't stop for anyone or anything. And keep him safe!'

"O' course, Sirius," Hagrid replied gravely. "Woudn' do it no other way."

Sirius nodded and looked at Harry. Because of him Harry had no parents. Because of him and Pettigrew. Fury welled up inside his stomach, once more.

"Good bye Hagrid," Sirius said.

Hagrid replied with a sniffle, "Good bye Sirius." And without another word Hagrid swung his massive leg over the seat of the bike and lifted off the ground with Harry as a small speck in comparison.

Sirius watched as they rose higher and higher, until they disappeared from view. Then, with murder in his heart, Sirius Disapparated to search for Peter Pettigrew.


End file.
